Back at 1....

Reality... has finally hit. On my way home from Texas I have realized...I am not going to go on Nevaeh's care page and see anymore updates about her in pain or about the great day she was having. 

I had a great time (considering the circumstances) in Texas. We spoke of Audrey, Jenna Belle, and Nevaeh often. It was nice having someone to be with during the day and nice to have someone who has been 'down this sad road of infant loss' by my side. Now its back to reality where I almost feel alone in my own thoughts. Like I am not 'understood'. It is lonely being here during the day with just me myself and my thoughts. 

This year ending has snuck up on me. I find holiday's are the hardest, its the time when we announced my pregnancy and it was a time of joy. Now I find that its a lonely time, full of others peoples firsts, their child's first Christmas, the first Christmas as a couple....etc...etc...etc.

I thank God for the support from the Baby Loss Community and my friends. Without them, I would be sooo lost beyond words. I praise God for giving me the strength everyday for letting me carry on and continue the good in 'her name'.